Not Me! Monday

One big reason why I've contemplated starting a blog over the past several months is MckMama's Not Me! Monday blog carnival: I've been aching to play along, and now I can! Stay tuned for a list of things I definitely did not do this week (and certainly would never admit to doing them, even if I did do them, which, of course, I didn't...). When you're done reading, hop on over to MckMama's site to see what she and a whole lot of others didn't do this week. If you like, you can even play along!

1. When Mr. B was out of town this week, I did not neglect to put away the five loads of laundry I'd washed, dried, and folded on my bed before the girls went to sleep for the night. I did not move the piles of clean clothes to his side of the bed, crawl in on my side, and sleep next to them all night long. That would have been so lazy, and I would never have done it!
2. Speaking of lazy, it would have been very lazy--not to mention disgusting--to leave a dead goldfish floating at the top of the little plastic portable aquarium for several days, while the remaining two fish continued to swim around their deceased friend. I would not have waited until the water was totally murky and stinky before flushing said goldfish.
3. If, by some small chance, number two above had actually happened, I never would have forgotten to de-chlorinate the clean tap water I used to refill the aquarium after cleaning it out, so the remaining two goldfish did not die within an hour of their return home. And, of course, I did not leave the two of them floating at the top of the aquarium for another couple of days, waiting for Mr. B to return from his trip and take care of them.
4. I did not lose my cell phone this week. I did not forget it on the bike at the gym. I don't think you're even supposed to have cell phones in the fitness center, so I would never even think about having it in there with me, and I certainly would never be irresponsible enough to leave it there.
5. My eyes did not well with tears when Mr. B had to replace my awesome red slider phone with the most basic cell phone available. It's a phone: I would not get close to crying about it.
6. I did not find it ironic that Mr. B's work upgraded him to a Blackberry this week, just one day before I was required to downgrade to a boring, basic phone. I do not despise the Blackberry already, because it will not provide one more way for Mr. B to be connected to his job at all times.
7. Finally, in reference to number 6, I am sure Mr. B did not use his Blackberry to check his email while going to the bathroom. He would never do that, and I would never be married to a silly someone who would. [I so love that guy...]

How about you? What didn't you do this week???

UPDATE: I did not accidentally link to last week's Not Me! Monday post...but if I did, then this week's post (February 2) would be here.