Wow. I think I needed that reminder. Today. Probably yesterday. That post had a link to another of her posts where she quotes St. Escriva:I can't tell you how many times I've been engrossed in some great spiritual book, only to be interrupted by some unexpected chaos with the kids. And my immediate reaction is to think, "Would you kids be quiet! I'm trying to seek God's will here!" sighing that if only I wasn't so bogged down with my household responsibilities that I could really start getting in tune with God. If only I didn't have to change this diaper and deal with that temper tantrum and clear all those dishes off the table I could get closer to finding out what it is that God wills for me!
It's been quite stunning, then, for me to realize that changing that diaper and dealing with the temper tantrum and clearing those dishes are God's will. These are the situations that God puts in front of me every day. If I see them through my eyes alone, holding out for God to reveal to me that "his" will is all about me writing that bestselling book or the lottery win (that just so happen to be big fantasies of mine), I grumble through the mundane tasks of my day. And when I do this, when I apathetically plop a dish into the sink or huff and puff about having to sweep the kitchen floor for the second time today, I am essentially saying, "I will not serve." I'm refusing to accept that these humdrum tasks just might be the answers to all my questions about what God wants me to do.
But to see all these diapers and temper tantrums and dishes through God's eyes, to humbly go about my day executing each task with love, appreciating every moment and every little thing around me as a precious gift, is to know and serve God, to do his will. I don't need to analyze it beyond that. I have my answer.
Conquer yourself each day from the very first moment, getting up on the dot, at a set time, without granting a single minute to laziness. If with the help of God, you conquer yourself in the moment, you have accomplished a great deal for the rest of the day. It's so discouraging to find yourself beaten in the first skirmish.I know absolutely nothing about St. Escriva, but it seems St. Escriva knew me and presented this admonition specifically for me! My moms' group is going through Cindy Dagnan's book, Who Got Peanut Butter on My Daily Planner?, and I was particularly convicted by our discussion of chapter 2: "Kryptonite and the Supermom." I am so very often "beaten in the first skirmish." But I want to win! I want to be Supermom, but I am overcome by the kryptonite of my to-do list. Actually, not so much my to-do list, as my snooze button. If I got up "on the dot, at a set time, without granting a single minute to laziness," I could joyfully offer up my entire day to God, and begin to take care of so many things on that to-do list before my girls were even awake. Then, I could spend my precious minutes with them as their mommy, without being distracted by everything else that has to get done. Instead, I often lay in bed in the morning until the last possible minute. Of course, I have a whole barrage of excuses, the main one being I stay up way too late. And I often stay up way too late because Mr. B is up working, and I like to think that sitting next to him while he works somehow constitutes spending time with him. Silly, eh? If you're reading this, will you pray for me? Please pray that I will go to bed earlier, so I can get up"on the dot" and tackle each day this way? And, while you are at it, please also pray that I will remember that the tasks I encounter throughout the day are my opportunities to serve, they are God's will for me, and that I might do them "all to the glory of God." I would feel privileged to pray the same for you, too; simply leave me a comment! Here's I Corinthians 10:31 one more time, my own version: "Whether, then, you eat or drink, wash lights or darks, scrub toilets or floors, work puzzles or read books, tickle tummies or soothe tears, wipe bottoms or wash hands, do all to the glory of God."
With tears in my eyes, I thank you.
ReplyDeleteYour honesty and the wisdom you share is very humbling. I love you!
K.
Wow. I am sort of speechless.
ReplyDeleteI, too, have tears in my eyes. Not only will I be praying for you, but I will now change the way I look at life. I will stop complaining about little things, becaus the big picture is about serving Him.
Thank you for sharing, Jess. You never fail to amaze me!