So Long, Darewell

My house is alive with The Sound of Music: we let the girls see the movie a couple of months ago, and they LOVED it. I checked out the soundtrack CD from the library, and we listened to it in the van every time we drove somewhere for four straight weeks. We let them watch the movie again this week while Evie was sick, and they sang along with all the songs. Their own versions of the songs, of course. For example: "So long, darewell, and you and you and you. [Voice goes up one full octave] Goodbyeeeeeeeeee!" "How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you catch a cow and pin it down?" "IIIIIIIII'm ev'ry mountain!" And neither Evie nor Eloise seems to be able to go straight up the stairs these days...no, instead they must sit on the stairs and slowly go up while sitting, all the while singing like little Gretel, "The suuuuun has gooooooone to bed and so must I-I." (If you are not familiar with the music or the movie, none of this will make much sense or be very funny. Sorry!) Because they have been so intrigued with the vonTrapp family, I also checked out from the library a neat pictorial biography of the actual Trapp Family Singers, as well as Maria Augusta Trapp's book The Story of the Trapp Family Singers, which served as the inspiration for The Sound of Music. We have enjoyed studying the pictures together, and I'm very much enjoying reading Maria's biography and sharing many tidbits from the story with the girls. Maria shared her story with such enthusiasm, and you cannot help but catch some of her spirit while reading it. The other day I read part of a chapter that really resonated with me and the particular stage of life in which I seem to find myself right now:

It will be very interesting one day to follow the pattern of our life as it is spread out like a beautiful tapestry. As long as we live here we see only the reverse side of the weaving, and very often the pattern, with its threads running wildly, doesn't seem to make sense. Some day, however, we shall understand.

In looking back over the years we can discover how a red thread goes through the pattern of our life: the Will of God.

I really do look forward to the day when I shall understand so many things. Until that time, I cling to Ecclesiastes 3:11--"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

From never lasting to everlasting

Tonight's Cubbies verse: "...I have loved thee with an everlasting love..." (Jeremiah 31:3 ) Evie's initial version: "...I have loved thee with a never lasting love..." Say 'em both out loud: they pretty much sound the same, right? It made me smile. I explained the actual verse, and what it means when God says He has loved us "with an everlasting love." Evie got it, and it felt good as we both reflected on the eternal quality of God's love. Later, I started thinking about the never lasting love again, though. Pretty much, that's me: the giver of a never-lasting love. Of course, I always love my husband, my kids, my family, my friends, in my mind. But my actions often prove the conditional quality of my love. Sometimes I demonstrate love when I feel like it: if I'm not too busy (unfortunately, I seem to be busy a lot, so my love tends to be "never lasting"). Sometimes I demonstrate love if I feel like it: if it seems "deserved" (and quite often, I don't deem people deserving, so again my love is "never lasting"). Sometimes I demonstrate love only after I've been shown love first (and sometimes people are much less than loving to me, so my love is also "never lasting"). I am called to love others with the love of Christ--the everlasting love with which He loves us. Tonight I am feeling challenged to put aside my never lasting love, and take up His everlasting love. I am struck by the opportunity I have to show Christ to the world, and saddened by how many times I have forsaken this opportunity. I am holding onto the lyrics of a song as a prayer: "Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with You." Specifically, I long to be filled with His love--His everlasting, unconditional love--so that nothing but His love flows out of me. Speaking of loving, do you know what happened fifteen years ago tonight? Mr. B asked me to be his girlfriend. He also asked me to the prom. I said "yes" to both. And do you know what happened ten years ago tonight? Mr. B asked me to marry him! I said "yes" then, too.

A little Truth for Tuesday

I Corinthians 10:31--"Whether, then, you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." While checking my favorite "mommy blogs" today, I stumbled--via a link from another link--across a post from Conversion Diary (which I've never read before, but may have to check out again soon!) and was struck by the following:

I can't tell you how many times I've been engrossed in some great spiritual book, only to be interrupted by some unexpected chaos with the kids. And my immediate reaction is to think, "Would you kids be quiet! I'm trying to seek God's will here!" sighing that if only I wasn't so bogged down with my household responsibilities that I could really start getting in tune with God. If only I didn't have to change this diaper and deal with that temper tantrum and clear all those dishes off the table I could get closer to finding out what it is that God wills for me!

It's been quite stunning, then, for me to realize that changing that diaper and dealing with the temper tantrum and clearing those dishes are God's will. These are the situations that God puts in front of me every day. If I see them through my eyes alone, holding out for God to reveal to me that "his" will is all about me writing that bestselling book or the lottery win (that just so happen to be big fantasies of mine), I grumble through the mundane tasks of my day. And when I do this, when I apathetically plop a dish into the sink or huff and puff about having to sweep the kitchen floor for the second time today, I am essentially saying, "I will not serve." I'm refusing to accept that these humdrum tasks just might be the answers to all my questions about what God wants me to do.

But to see all these diapers and temper tantrums and dishes through God's eyes, to humbly go about my day executing each task with love, appreciating every moment and every little thing around me as a precious gift, is to know and serve God, to do his will. I don't need to analyze it beyond that. I have my answer.

Wow. I think I needed that reminder. Today. Probably yesterday. That post had a link to another of her posts where she quotes St. Escriva:

Conquer yourself each day from the very first moment, getting up on the dot, at a set time, without granting a single minute to laziness. If with the help of God, you conquer yourself in the moment, you have accomplished a great deal for the rest of the day. It's so discouraging to find yourself beaten in the first skirmish.

I know absolutely nothing about St. Escriva, but it seems St. Escriva knew me and presented this admonition specifically for me! My moms' group is going through Cindy Dagnan's book, Who Got Peanut Butter on My Daily Planner?, and I was particularly convicted by our discussion of chapter 2: "Kryptonite and the Supermom." I am so very often "beaten in the first skirmish." But I want to win! I want to be Supermom, but I am overcome by the kryptonite of my to-do list. Actually, not so much my to-do list, as my snooze button. If I got up "on the dot, at a set time, without granting a single minute to laziness," I could joyfully offer up my entire day to God, and begin to take care of so many things on that to-do list before my girls were even awake. Then, I could spend my precious minutes with them as their mommy, without being distracted by everything else that has to get done. Instead, I often lay in bed in the morning until the last possible minute. Of course, I have a whole barrage of excuses, the main one being I stay up way too late. And I often stay up way too late because Mr. B is up working, and I like to think that sitting next to him while he works somehow constitutes spending time with him. Silly, eh? If you're reading this, will you pray for me? Please pray that I will go to bed earlier, so I can get up"on the dot" and tackle each day this way? And, while you are at it, please also pray that I will remember that the tasks I encounter throughout the day are my opportunities to serve, they are God's will for me, and that I might do them "all to the glory of God." I would feel privileged to pray the same for you, too; simply leave me a comment! Here's I Corinthians 10:31 one more time, my own version: "Whether, then, you eat or drink, wash lights or darks, scrub toilets or floors, work puzzles or read books, tickle tummies or soothe tears, wipe bottoms or wash hands, do all to the glory of God."